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Dracula Gets The Sauce

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Dracula: Parividha das
Sankirtan girl: Suvrata dasi

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released May 21, 2015

Script by Vrindavan Candra das

Recorded, sound effects and mixed by Dwarakadisa das

Produced and directed by Parividha das 1993

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Parividha Amsterdam, Netherlands

Parividha das was initiated by Srila Prabhupada in 1973.

He performed with
the Vaikuntha Players
in New York in 1977
and worked with the Bhaktivedanta Players in England from 1978 to 1985.

He has appeared as John the Baptist & Judas in the musical "Godspell", Mr. Lyons in "Blood Brothers" and Pharaoh & Jacob in "Joseph And His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat".
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Track Name: Dracula Gets The Sauce
Girl: (Enters screaming followed by Dracula
Ahhhh! Ahhhh!
Dracula: (Sings)
I'm in the mood for blood, simply because you are near me!
Devotee: (Enters and watches the situation)
Dracula:
O honey, when you are near me, I'm.. in the mood for…. blood!
Devotee:
Excuse me.
Dracula: (Turns around)
Huh?
Devotee: (Startled to see his face, but controls herself)
I couldn’t help but notice, but you’ve got such a beautiful voice. (Exit other girl)
Dracula:
Ah, my lovely one. You are such a feast for the eyes. And what to speak of the tongue.
Devotee:
Of all the senses, the point of the tongue is the most voracious and difficult to control.
Dracula:
But my dear! How can you speak to me of control, he walks towards her
and she moves back when the mere sight of you fills me with lusty desires?
Devotee:
It is lust only, which is the all-devouring enemy of the world.
Dracula:
Ha-ha-ha-ha! But my dear! You misunderstand me. I..... I feel a profound
attachment towards you.
Devotee:
Ah! Of course! While contemplating the object of the senses, one
develops attachment! And from that attachment lust develops.
Dracula:
You make me so angry, I could bite you!
Devotee:
Yes from lust anger arises, and from anger delusion develops. From
delusion bewilderment of memory, and when memory is bewildered,
intelligence is lost! And when one looses his intelligence one falls down from the spiritual path. You see, it's a very risky business.
Dracula:
Hah! If anyone is taking a risk my dear, it is you! Obviously, you don't know who I am. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Devotee:
Obviously, you don't know who you really are!
Dracula:
I don't know who I am? Hah! Preposterous! Let me tell you then. I am Count Dracula of Transylvania. Prince of Darkness!
Devotee:
Obviously you are in darkness, for only an ignorant man considers the body as the self and his place of birth as worshipable.
Dracula:
T. You think that you’re so smart, eh? Then if I am not Count Dracula, then who am I?
Devotee:
Ah! My dear sir, your human life has just begun.
Dracula: Human life? Hah! Please do not insult me. I haven't known human life for over five hundred years!
Devotee:
Never mind that. Atatho brahma jijnasa.
Dracula:
A tomato what?
Devotee:
Atatho brahma jijnasa. That is Sanskrit, and it means that human life actually begins when one asks himself “Who am I?” You see, you think you’re this body, but your real identity is that of spirit soul. Full of knowledge and bliss, and eternally connected to the Supreme Lord in an intimate relationship of love.
Dracula: Love? Me?
Devotee:
Please understand. In contact with your material body and this material world, your eternal love for God has been transformed into mundane lust. If you don’t give up this blood sucking business, there is a very good chance that in your next life you’ll take birth as a mosquito.
Dracula:
A mosquito? No!
Devotee:
Yes.
Dracula:
No.
Devotee:
Yes.
Dracula:
No.
Devotee:
Yes.
Dracula:
But, but why? But, but how?
Devotee:
Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail.
Dracula:
Ah! But eh, but I have never even considered such things before.
Devotee:
But you must!
Dracula:
I see that now. But what can I do? Somehow or other, by your good instructions,
I am feeling somewhat...somewhat meek und humbled.
Devotee:
These are not my instructions. They are the words of Lord Krishna to
Arjuna, as given in the Bhagavad-Gita As It Is by His Divine Grace
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami (She pulls out the Gita) Prabhupada! (And holds it in the air.)
Dracula:
Ah! Put that book away! Its light is hurting my eyes!
Devotee:
Yes, Godhead is light and ignorance is darkness. Where there is Godhead, there is no darkness. compassionate But, you are wrong to think that this book will harm you. Rather, it will relieve you of all the misery of material existence. Even your desire for blood!
Dracula:
T. But my desire for blood has not been satisfied for five hundred years! How can I purify such a strong desire as this?
Devotee:
My dear sir, it is the arrangement of the Supreme that we drink the blood of the cow, after it has been transformed into milk, the miracle food. And from this milk we make butter and ghee, in which we cook wonderful preparations like samosas, puris, but the real test is in the tasting. pulls out a sweet Here, shows the sweet try one of these.
Dracula:
No!
Devotee:
Go on! It won’t bite you.
Dracula:
Ha-ha! I’m the one, who does the biting around here. Remember?
Devotee:
Ha-ha-ha yes.
Dracula:
All right, give it to me. Mmm! Mmmm! Mmmmm!
Devotee:
It’s good, isn’t it?
Dracula:
Hmm. Absolutely delicious! Give me more!
Devotee:
Just one. But if you want more, you have to come to our Sunday Feast, where you can eat to your full satisfaction.
Dracula:
Hmm. Is the recipe for this in that book?
Devotee:
No the recipes are all in this one.
Dracula:
Hmm. Thank you. Hmm that looks tasty!
Devotee:
And this is the book I mentioned earlier.
Dracula:
Ah! Bhagavad-Gita As It Is. reads Never was there a time when I did not exist. Ha-ha! It sounds like my uncle Vladimir. How much do I owe you?
Devotee:
Oh, just give what you can.
Dracula:
All right.
Will a hundred do?
Devotee:
Oh! Oh! (Looks for change in her bag)
Dracula:
No no! Keep the change!
Devotee:
Thank you. Now don’t forget the Sunday feast and bring your friends too!
Dracula:
Hah! Well I’ll be there for sure, but as for my friends, well eh maybe another Sunday.
Devotee:
Hare Krishna.
Dracula:
Hare?
Devotee:
Krishna.
Dracula:
Krishna.
Devotee:
Yes. Hare Krishna.
Dracula:
Hum. Hare Krishna.
Devotee:
Excellent! I’ll see you on Sunday then!
Dracula:
Bye bye! He mammy! Wolfie! Uncle Vladimir! I found somewhere great, we can go for a bite on Sunday.